超级大满贯

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机智老公段子 专为降服老婆

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1、LAOPOFAXIANSHENBIANHAODUOXIAOJIEMEIDOUMAILESHOUCHUAN,ERQIEHAISHISHUYUYAOWULEIDE,TINGSHUOXIATIANKEYIQUWENZI,QIUDONGJIJIEHAINENGGOUZHILIAOGEZHONGGEYANGDEXIAOMAOBING。REZHONGMAIMAIMAIDELAOPOYEXIANGGENFENGMAI,ZHUYAOJUEDEJIAGEYOUBUGUIHAIDUISHENTIYOUHAOCHU,HELEERBUWEINI!

YUSHIHUIJIAHELAOGONGSHUOLEMAISHOUCHUANDESHI,LAOPOSHUO:“LAOGONG,XIANZAIDOULIUXINGMAISHOUCHUAN,ERQIESHIYAOWUDE,TINGSHUOXIAOGUOBUCUO,WOYEXIANGMAIYIGE!”JIANLAOPOZHEIYANGSHUO,LAOGONGXIANGDOUMEIXIANGJIUHUIDASHUO:“NISHILAOMAOBINGLE,AIGENFENG,YAOSHIZHENNENGZHIBINGYAOYIYUANGANMA?”

LAOPOFANLEGEBAIYAN,SHUO:“JIAGEYOUBUGUI,JIUSHIJUEDEHAOWANER,FANZHENGYEMEISHAHUAICHU!”SHUOWANYOUBUCHONGYIJU,“LAOGONG,NIKANWOPINGSHISHANGHUOTEBIEYANZHONG,NIJIGEJIANYI,WODAINAZHONGCAIZHIDESHOUCHUANSHIHEYA?”JIZHILAOGONGJUEDEBUNENGZAIDAMAHUYANLE,YOUYOUDIJILAILEJU:“NIDAICHUANNIUHUANGJIEDUPIANBA,JIBIANYIYOUNENGQUHUO!”

一起过

2、MEICIJIALITEBIELUANDESHIHOU,WODOUHUIGENLAOPOCHAOJIA。CHAODETEBIELIHAIZHIHOU,TAHUISHENGQI,RANHOUHUISHOUSHIDONGXIZHUNBEIHUINIANGJIA。ZHEIGESHIHOUWOZAIGUIXIALAIBATALIUXIA,JIALIYEBIANDEZHENGJIEDUOLE。

超级大满贯3、GANGBANXINJUHOU,GEBIDAMAKANJIANWOHELAOGONGCHUMEN,WENLAOGONG:NIXIFUZHENPIAOLIANG,ZHENNIANQING?LAOGONGXIAOZHEKANZHEWOSHUO:NIYOU20MEI?WODUNSHIXINHUANUFANG,XIAOZHESHUO:TAOYAN。

超级大满贯4、LAOPOYOUSHICHUMEN,BABAOBAOJIAOJILAOGONGDAIBANTIAN。YUSHILAOGONGFAHUIGEZHONGJIZHI,BUZHILAOPOHUIJIAKANDAOHOU,YOUHEGANXIANG

一起过

5、ZUOWANSHANGJIUHEDEYOUDIANDA,MIMIHUHUHUIDAOJIA,FAXIANXIFUERYIJINGSHUILE,YUSHIJIEZHEJIUJINGBATAFANLEGUOLAI...JINZAOXINGLAI,FAXIANTAHAIMEIXING,JIUXIANGZHEMEIKAIERDU。YILIAOBEIZITURANFAXIANTAZUOPIGUSHANGYOUYIKEXIAOMILIDAXIAODEZHI,WOCAO~WOJIDEXIFUERDEZHIYINGGAISHIZAIYOUMIANYA,WOTOUKANXIAOYIZIXIZAODESHIHOUKANDAOGUO,TADECAIZAIZUOMIAN,NANDAOSHISHUANGBAOTAINONGHUNLE...?BUKENENG,YINGGAISHIWOJICUOTALIANGDEWEIZHILE,YIDINGDE...

6、老婆躺在老公怀里问:“老公,你要是有100亿,你想做的第一件事是什么?”
“把你休了。”老公脱口而出(当时没过脑,说完感觉要坏事)。
老婆微怒:“那第二件事呢?”
“把你娶回来!”老公道。
“为什么?”老婆疑惑。
“以前娶你时办的太简单,所以要再办一次,让你嫁的风光点。”
“老公你真好!”老婆一脸感动。当时,老公真想对自己说句:“我TMD真是太机智了,多悬没挨揍”。

超级大满贯7、WANSHANGLAOPOPAZAIWOSHENSHANGTURANLAILEYIJU:“LAOGONG,ZHONGBU?”WODANGSHIJIUZHIDAOZHEISHIYIGEBUNENGZHENGMIANHUIDADEWENTI。YUSHIWOSHENQINGKUANKUANCHANGDAO:“WOXINZHONG,NIZUIZHONG!”JICHENGSHI,YOUBUHUIAIZOU。

8、ZAIJIALIHELAOPOCHAOLEQILAI,CHAOZHECHAOZHEWOJIU“AO”YISANGZI,RANHOUGUANGZHANGZUIBUCHUSHENG ,LAOPOMENGLE,YONGSHOUPAIZIJIDEERDUO,PAILEJIXIAHAISHIMEITINGJIANWOFACHUDESHENGYIN,JIULENGLENGDIKANZHEWO,WOSHANGQUBANGUOTADENAODAI,QINLETAERDUOCHUYIXIA !RANHOUCHUSHENGSHUO:GAIZUOWANFANLE。LAOPOTINGHUADIQUCHUFANGJIWONONGFANQULE。

超级大满贯9、KANDAOTASHUILE,WOXIANGQIWANGSHANGLIUCHUANDESOUZHUYI,PAPASHANLETALIANGBAZHANG。TAJINGKONGDIZHENGKAIYANJING。WOGANJINBAOZHUTASHUO,BAOBEIERNIZUOEMENGLE?BIEPAYIQIEYOUWO。TARENLEYIHUIERSHUO:GANGCAIWOZHISHIBIZHEYANJINGXIANGSHIQING,MEISHUIZHE……

10、老陈是个出了名的妻管严,平时一下班就回家。这天下班后,他应邀和几个好久没见的朋友聚会,一高兴,就喝多了,直到半夜才回家。老婆冲他怒吼道:“你看这都几点了?还有脸回来?”老陈一惊,急中生智道:“朋友们都说我有个贤惠的老婆,非拉着我不让走,让我传授家庭和睦的经验,他们越听越羡慕我有个这么好的贤妻,唉,你的好没个几天几夜都说不完?于是就回来晚了!”
超级大满贯妻子:“脱衣服,我去给你放水……”

11.一家三口逛街,媳妇和孩子在前面逛,老公实在是不想逛,就在后面路边摊扔了十块钱买了一个假的金链子,快步走到媳妇跟前把链子攥在手里稍微露出一点,低声说:捡的,快走。三口就急急忙忙回家了……一起过 yzjry.com

[时间:2017-12-13]
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